Thursday, October 29, 2009

Fear, and the lessening thereof

Good morning my friends :)

got to thinking last night, sometimes about 2am, when I wasn't sleeping..  That alot of my journey here is about dealing with my fears.. instead of living comfortably and conforming, I have set myself up against those things in life that have kept me compliant and a good citizen..  3 stand out in my mind at the moment.

1) Fear of Humans..  in this context (vandwelling) my concern has been Illegal Immigrants. No, I’m not a racist, I have nothing whatsoever against latino/latina members of society. What I have is a history of living in Az, and local media that would constantly be talking about the Illegals coming over the border.  My mind goes to the next step.. they are coming over on foot.. I’m parked out in the middle of nowhere alone, so they take truck and leave me on foot, or beyond caring about the truck anymore..  Well, so far on my road I have not had the pleasure of running into anyone that has threatened me, nor made me feel at all uncomfortable.  Just folks going about thier own lives.. Now that the winter is here, and I’m moving south a bit, perhaps I will run into those that are coming here.. I hope they will treat me with the same consideration that I will treat them with.

2) Fear of Animals..  this one to me seems kinda strange, but it’s true nonetheless.  I have worried about the wild animals that we humans are pushing out of their own territory.. I had visions of sleeping somewhere and a bear showing up at the back door with vengeance in mind! –Grin-  Well, so far I’ve run across 2 Rattlesnakes, 1 Bear, 2 Skunks, 4 White Tailed Deer, 6 Mule Deer, 6 Elk, 7 Javalina, Various squirrels, birds, crawling creatures.. Oh.. and at least 2 mice :)    Of them all, Only the Mice seemed to want to make themselves at home in my space.. and the ONLY creatures that I’ve been threatened by are Ants!!  some of the little buggers bite before even getting to know you!  So that fear is going away.. still have a latent fear of running across a Mountain Lion one day, but will cross that when it happens.

3) Fear of Winter…  this has been a biggie.. as a desert rat for many years now, the cold weather just rocks my world!!  if it drops below 50 I start digging out my winter parkas!  so reading in the Vandweller group last winter about how everyone was surviving was something I avidly did.  I have been very worried that when the cold temps hit I would be absolutely miserable and unable to function!!  well, At this point I think I can put that one away too.. Temperature got down to 15 degrees outside last night, coldest night I’ve been in so far, and interior of the truck dropped to 35.  While it wasnt the most comfortable night, I think with planning and some additional clothing (I really have NO cold weather clothes) it will be doable.. it’s strange to see not only my breath but the breaths of both the cat and dog showing steam, but they seem fine as well :)  And I dont expect to regularly be in temps like this.  down in the Phx area it’s 30 degrees warmer, but at 4k feet, 60 miles out of town I get the more extreme.  Tonight it’s supposed to be warmer and things going back to normal, but glad I got the chance to experience it :)  Now it’s a fear that can be placed on the shelf for me!!

Hope everyone has a great day!!

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